## Wine and Water

Old Noah he had an ostrich farm and
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ fowls on the largest scale,
He ate his egg with a ladle
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ in a egg-cup big as a pail,
And the soup he took was Elephant Soup
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ and fish he took was Whale,
But they all were small to the cellar he
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ took when he set out to sail,
And Noah he often said to his wife when
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ he sat down to dine,
“I don’t care where the water goes if it
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ doesn’t get into the wine.”

The cataract of the cliff of heaven fell
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ blinding off the brink
As if it would wash the stars away as suds
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ go down a sink,
The seven heavens came roaring down for
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ the throats of hell to drink,
And Noah he cocked his eye and said,
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ “It looks like rain, I think.
The water has drowned the Matterhorn
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ as deep as a Mendip mine,
But I don’t care where the water goes if it
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ doesn’t get into the wine.”

But Noah he sinned, and we have sinned;
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ on tipsy feet we trod,
Till a great big black teetotaller was sent
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ to us for a rod,
And you can’t get wine at a P. S. A., or
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ chapel, or Eisteddfod,
For the Curse of Water has come again
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ because of the wrath of God,
And water is on the Bishop’s board and
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ the Higher Thinker’s shrine,
But I don’t care where the water goes if it
$\,$ $\,$ $\,$ doesn’t get into the wine.

The Flying Inn (1914).